Closed communities

Information:

Closed communities may be of religious, spiritual, therapeutic, social or ideological nature. There is often strong peer pressure, with little room for autonomy and an “us-versus-them” mentality. The pressure to conform to strict norms and rules may be intense, making victims of domestic violence and child abuse less likely to seek help, or making them feel uneasy about sharing information about their situation. The group needs to be protected, and it’s difficult for victims to break this loyalty to the group. Information is usually controlled; critical sources or outsiders are kept at bay or portrayed as dangerous. For professionals, this means that signs are sometimes hard to detect. There is an increased risk of dependency, isolation and domestic violence.

Signs:

• Someone states they are part of a group that requires a lot of time and energy;
• Interaction with family, friends or outsiders is limited or discouraged;
• There is a strict hierarchy or (a) very influential central leader(s);
• Use of specific language, rituals or rules that differ from the outside world;
• Existing social contacts are suddenly broken off, or the person stops going to school/work;

Recommendations:

• Keeping in contact is a priority; having a connection is worth a lot;
• Ask about possibilities to keep in touch and take note of preferences;
• Approach without judgment and use neutral language (avoid terms like sect);
• Carefully identify where the person is staying, the circumstances of interaction (is the person able to freely contact you) and if there are institutions involved already;
• Empathize with the person’s world view. The person will often seem confused; try to understand what goes on behind the confused behavior;
• Make it clear that no action will be taken without careful consultation with the person involved; the members of the closed community will not be contacted without having consulted the victim;
• Explain to the people involved that the protection of the victim(s) is the main priority;
• Take into account any dependency relationships that may exist. For minors: identify which family members are inside the group and which are not, if there is any interaction with the family outside of the community, and if there are alternative caregivers;
• Keep conversations confidential and tell the victim this explicitly, but do not promise secrecy;
• In case of extreme convictions (such as right-wing extremist, religious extremism): start the conversation without judging. Identify if the person themselves, their environment or society is in danger. Determine if the conviction can exist without depending on the community, and how much support it has in society.

Sexual violence

Information:

Sexual violence means that someone is forced to do, undergo or watch sexual acts without clear and voluntary consent. It often occurs in situations with a power imbalance, such as within families, relationships or relationships of dependency. Sexual violence often remains hidden for a long time, and victims usually do not show (specific) signs.

Consent means that someone voluntarily, consciously and clearly agrees with sexual acts. In case of minors, people with disabilities or in authority relationships (for example in health care, education or religion) consent is extra vulnerable.

Examples of hands-on sexual violence (with physical contact):

• Unwanted kissing or touching;
• Unwanted manual or oral sex;
• Unwanted vaginal or anal penetration;
• Unwanted penetration with objects;
• Stealthing: secretly removing a condom during sex while no permission was given to do so.

Examples of hands-off sexual violence (without physical contact):

• Unwanted sexting or distribution of nude images;
• (Having to) watch porn or sexual acts;
• Unwanted or forced masturbation;
• Grooming (digital child molestation) or sextortion (online blackmail with sexual images);
• Unwanted or forced body exposure;

Signs:

There are no fixed behavioral traits that clearly indicate sexual violence. Signs very much differ from one person to another. Many of the victims show very little signs or no signs at all, for example because of embarrassment, guilt, fear or loyalty to the perpetrator. Pay close attention to abnormal behavior. What is normal behavior, for example for a three-year-old, and what isn’t? Or: does someone show changes in behavior?

A sign that always indicates sexual violence:

• an STD or pregnancy in a child under 12.

Recommendations after disclosure:

• React in a quiet, supporting manner, without judging;
• Tell the victim explicitly that it is not their fault;
• Normalize emotions: everything a person feels is understandable;
• Ask the person involved what is most important to them at that time;
• Explore together which help would be most adequate (medical, psychological, legal);
• Leave the clothing and the place where it happened untouched wherever possible;
• Be cautious with physical contact; ask if touch is appreciated;
• Offer to help thinking about subsequent steps or enlisting help;
• In case of children:
  • After the conversation, help the child to come back to the here and now, in order to leave it in a safe place;
  • Inform the child about the subsequent steps, what they can expect from the professional, and who they can contact in the meantime;
  • Check if there is formal and informal support in the child’s network.

Stalking

Information:

Stalking is unpleasantly following or bothering someone. Stalking is a punishable offense. Take the victims’ feelings seriously. If they really are afraid, there is a large risk of danger/threat. Early intervention may prevent escalation. Pay close attention to changes in the behavior of the perpetrator (escalation of behavior) and victim (fear, hyper-alertness, isolation, trouble sleeping). Victims of stalking have a right to protection. For example, an area ban or restraining order may be imposed.

Signs that indicate acute danger in cases of stalking:

• The stalker has access to weapons;
• The stalker has violated a restraining order before;
• The stalker has prior convictions for criminal behavior;
• The stalker has psychiatric problems;
• The stalker seems desperate or obsessive (for example, after ending a relationship or another life event) and does not see another option than to use violence;
• The stalker has suicidal thoughts, mentions them or has already made an attempt;
• The stalker contemplates murder;
• Escalation of the behavior of the stalker; the stalker becomes more insistent or more aggressive, threat of violence or actual violence, the frequency of contact moments increases;
• Anxiety and stress of the victim; the victim fears what the stalker may do, has trouble sleeping, panic attacks, continuously feels unsafe.

Recommendations:

• Take signs of stalking seriously;
• Get in touch with the Advisory and Reporting Office Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, and the police;
• It is important to gather evidence.

Digital and online violence

Information:

Forms of digital violence increasingly form part of domestic violence. Forms of online violence include; online harassment, listening in on conversations, digital stalking, shame sexting, grooming, sextortion, revenge porn, financial abuse and identity fraud. In cases of shame sexting or revenge porn, cultural context may have extra impact on the victim.

Signs:

• Victims tend to experience feelings of embarrassment, due to which they may choose not to report an incident;
• They may fear the reaction of their peers, be affected by mental issues (such as depression) and experience increased levels of stress;
• Victims withdraw from and avoid social interaction and activities;
• The victim is absent from work or school.

Recommendations:

• Ask explicitly about unpleasant experiences online;
• Help out with the practicalities: removing content, changing account passwords and privacy settings on social media, gathering evidence, pressing charges;
• If needed, get in touch with the Advisory and Reporting Office Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, or check: Welkom bij safetyNed – alles over #veiligonline

Substance abuse

Information:

Substance abuse is a risk factor for domestic violence and neglect. Furthermore, alcohol and certain drugs may intensify the aggressive behavior of a person. Substances reduce impulse control, which increases the chances of violence towards the partner and/or children. Substance abuse may occur with both perpetrator and victim. Addiction has a lot of impact on children. It is associated with an unsafe parenting situation, unpredictability, parentification, anxiety and behavioral issues. Substance abuse during pregnancy is damaging to the unborn child and is a form of child abuse. Treatment of the addiction reduces the risk of repeated incidence of domestic violence.

Signs:

• The user states they use substances as a means of coping with the problems at home;
• The perpetrator states that the victim ‘deserved’ the violence because of using or their behavior during using;
• The victim is forced to use substances;
• The perpetrator threatens they will restrict access to substances, as part of the violence;
• There are financial problems and debts due to substance abuse;
• Money belonging to the partner or children is used to purchase substances;
• Neglect of responsibilities; lack of attention for children (dirty clothes, bad hygiene, hunger), household or partner, and little emotional availability;
• Children feel responsible for taking care of, for example, their younger siblings.

Recommendations:

• Ask questions about alcohol consumption or drug use: which substance, when and how often;
• Integrate addiction treatment into the approach: involve addiction care early in the process.

Mental health issues

Information:

Psychiatric and psychological issues affect relationships and parenthood. Children of parents with psychiatric and psychological issues may assume tasks and responsibilities that are not appropriate and adequate to the age of the child. Adults who faced domestic violence and/or child abuse in their childhood, are at great risk of becoming a victim again, or of becoming a perpetrator themselves of domestic violence and/or child abuse. Childhood traumas may lead to mental health issues in adulthood. Adults and children with a mental disorder are extra vulnerable to becoming a victim of violence. Be aware of stigma and taboo: mental health issues and domestic violence are both emotionally charged topics. Victims and perpetrators may feel ashamed or afraid of being condemned.

Signs:

• Mental health issues usually do not occur in isolation, but are often combined with other problems such as addiction in relation to domestic violence.
• Mental disorders cause unpredictable behavior which may lead to unsafe situations; fits of rage, aggression, mood swings, paranoid behavior, distrust and psychoses
• Mental disorders of a parent may lead to unsafe attachment of children
• Depressive symptoms may lead to neglect of the person themselves and family members; insufficient nutrition, clothing and medical care

Recommendations:

• Understanding the background and issues may help building up trust.

Adolescents with mild intellectual disability

Information:

When someone has an IQ between 50-85 and is not doing well socially, we speak of mild intellectual disability. Approximately one in every 6 Dutch citizens has an IQ of 50-85. Adolescents with mild intellectual disability are at a greater risk to become both victim and perpetrator of violence. People with mild intellectual disability are more vulnerable to becoming victims of human trafficking. They are less capable of assessing cause-and-effect relations, are easier to influence and are more gullible. Human traffickers consciously abuse these vulnerabilities and at times, they recruit at locations where people with mild intellectual disability are staying. People with mild intellectual disability are victim of sexual exploitation 18 times more than others. For more information on mild intellectual disability, see Signs chart Mild Intellectual Disability – Landelijk Kenniscentrum LVB

Signs of (ex) partner violence in cases of mild intellectual disability:

• Unable to set boundaries for the partner;
• Having to be available at all times (experiencing control as “love");
• Unhealthy relationship dynamics (jealousy, control, dependency) are not recognized as damaging;
• Tolerating damaging behavior, because of strong feelings of infatuation or dependency.

Signs of sexual or criminal exploitation in case of mild intellectual disability:

• Possesses a second phone;
• Has many new contacts;
• Possesses luxury items, expensive clothes and/or a lot of cash money;
• Spends more money than one would expect based on their (part time) job;
• Interacts with people who show criminal behavior.

Recommendations:

• Use simple language and verify if the person understood you;
• If needed, make use of images.

Brain disease or memory problems

Information:

Brain diseases include acquired brain injury or dementia. Dementia is a collective name for diseases that affect the brain such as Alzheimer’s. Acquired brain injury is damage to the brain that arose after birth. This may be caused by an accident, brain tumor or cardiac arrest. Approximately 300,000 people in the European part of the Netherlands have dementia, and this is a growing number. There are no specific numbers available for the Caribbean Netherlands. However, the Advisory and Reporting Offices are aware of several cases of dementia in combination with domestic violence. Each year, approximately 140,000 people suffer a brain injury. A brain injury is life-changing, both for the patient and the people involved. It may cause a lot of stress and care pressure, and may therefore affect the system, which means there is a higher chance of dysfunctional informal care or elder abuse. For signs of dysfunctional informal care or elder abuse: consult the corresponding signs chart

Signs of brain disease or memory problems:

• Memory issues;
• Difficulty with daily activities;
• Getting time and place wrong;
• Language issues;
• Losing objects;
• Poor judgment;
• Withdrawal from social interaction;
• Changes in behavior and character.

Recommendations:

• Observe carefully; check for patterns and repetition;
• Speak to the person and the informal caregiver separately;
• Ask open questions; ask about feelings of safety and daily routines;
• Check medical reports but stay alert to any abnormal signs;
• Do not suppose that illness is the only explanation for behavior or injury;
• Avoid confronting accusations; these may make the situation worse.

LHBTIQA+

Information:

Lesbian women, homosexual men, bi+ persons and transgender persons are faced with domestic violence more frequently than cishetero people are. As regards transgender persons, perpetrators are usually (step)parents or (step)brothers/sisters (46%) or the (ex) partner (25%). Within families, the LHBTIQA+ identity may not be (fully) accepted. Transition of transgender youth may be hindered by parents. LHBTIQA+ are often affected by minority stress; the fear to be faced with exclusion and discrimination. This hinders them when being open during their contact with professional assistance, and it also prevents professionals from gaining a proper sight of what is actually going on. Not all transgender and non-binary people feel at ease in a men’s or women’s shelter. It is important to show an open and accepting attitude. If professional assistance shows it is inclusive, then LHBTIQA+ people feel safer when asking for help and support.

Signs of minority stress:

• LHBTIQA+ persons are discussed negatively;
• The partner is mentioned in general terms; the partner's gender remains hidden;
• There are no visible features that may indicate an LHBTIQA+ identity;
• Violence is hidden or downplayed so as to not damage the image of the LHBTIQA+ community.

Recommendations:

• Be aware of possible minority stress;
• Show that you have a positive attitude towards LHBTIQA+ people;
• Refrain from asking unnecessarily curious questions.

Complicated divorce

Information:

It is estimated that in 15 – 20% of divorces in which children are involved, the procedure is highly difficult. In approximately 50% of these complicated divorces, there is also domestic violence. Mediation only works if both partners are willing to cooperate and to find a solution together. In cases of intimate terror, mediation may be used by the perpetrator to maintain control and coercion. Mediation is ineffective in cases of intimate terror.

Signs:

• There are severe fights and accusations between the divorcing partners;
• Legal proceedings are ongoing for years;
• One parent undermines the other parent: - Trips are not approved. - Doctor’s visits are not approved. - Agreements are not met unilaterally
• One parent speaks ill of the other parent to the children;
• Children experience conflicts of loyalty;
• The children are used to exercise power over the other parent.

Recommendations:

• Gain a complete impression of what is going on: who-does-what-when-with which impact;
• Verify if the child witnesses or has witnessed violence;
• Talk to (all) children present;
• Consider (a history of) partner violence during the relationship.

Animals

Information:

The perpetrator may use the animal as a weapon against the victim, for example by giving a dog the command to bite. Animals may be used as leverage to threaten, manipulate, control, humiliate, cause fear or to force a person to stay in the relationship. The perpetrator may threaten to use violence against the animal. Victims may postpone fleeing to a women’s shelter, for fear of leaving their pet behind. Fortunately, there are some shelters that welcome pets.

Signs of the animal:

• Has injuries that were inflicted (by humans);
• Has prior or repeated fractures/injuries;
• Has inexplicable injuries;
• Fears the owner;
• Is withdrawn towards people;
• Behaves in a subdued manner or is overly aggressive;
• Has a dull, depressed demeanor;
• Behaves differently than before;
• Does not have enough freedom of movement;
• Lives in unhygienic circumstances;
• Does not have its own place to lie down or to sleep;
• Does not have access to sufficient food/water;

Signs of the owner:

• Is reluctant to give an explanation for the injuries sustained by the animal;
• Gives implausible or unlikely explanations for the injuries sustained by the animal;
• The explanations given (at different times) for the same injuries vary;
• Reacts inappropriately, angrily or aggressively to questions or notifications;
• Shows deviant behavior: is anxious, nervous, aggressive or uncomfortable;
• Is reluctant to seek help;
• Does not seem to be concerned about the animal;
• Does not treat the animal correctly: harsh, hasty, rough, loud, loud voice;
• Does not give the animal proper care;
• Does not meet the basic needs of the animal;
• Has been seen before with injured animals.

Recommendations:

• Ask if there are pets in the household;
• Discuss the shelter options for pets.

Victims who are men/boys

Information:

Each year, 80,000 men fall victim to serious violence in their domestic environment in the European Part of the Netherlands. There are no exact figures available for the Caribbean Netherlands.

Male victims of domestic violence experience a tremendous taboo as well as disbelief from those around them. They frequently feel they are the only ones going through this, which makes them feel ashamed. Only 3% of male victims report to police. Men or boys usually have a different way of expressing problems and seeking help. Men tend to want to solve the problem themselves. Embarrassment also tends to play a larger role. Also in the healthcare and welfare systems, there is (unconscious) prejudice about violence against men and boys. In the European Netherlands, there are shelters for men who face domestic violence. For more information, please consult www.mannenmishandeling.nl. In the Caribbean Netherlands, there are shelter options for male victims. To learn more, contact the Advisory and Reporting Office on your island.

Signs:

• Physical signs: bruises, cuts, bite wounds, contusions, fractures mainly of the nose, long bones and ribs, burns and injury to the skull;
• Psychosomatic signs: feeling depressed, tremors, frequent headaches or stomach aches, anxiety, lack of sleep, heart palpitations and fatigue;
• Behavioral signs: avoids eye contact, often postpones appointments, submissive attitude, unclear requests for assistance and jumpiness;
• Male victims visit their family doctor more often than average and use sleep medication and pain medication more frequently;
• Speaks of “problems in the relationship” or “things are not going well at home”, downplays the situation;
• Is strongly focused on finding alternative accommodation or practical solutions during divorce;
• Describes the problems at home from a spectator point of view, or focuses mainly on facts and circumstances;

Recommendations:

• Be aware of the fact that men may also be the victim;
• Take signs seriously.

Migration background

Information:

Some migrants depend on their relationship for their residence status, which increases the risk of domestic violence. Uncertainty regarding the residence status or an undocumented residence status are risk factors for domestic violence. Migrants tend to be less knowledgeable regarding the healthcare and welfare system in the Caribbean Netherlands, which means it is more difficult for them to reach assistance. Traditional gender notions may play a part in the fact that the violence remains hidden. In some cases, fleeing domestic violence is a reason to issue a residence status or a temporary permit. You’ll find more information on this topic on the IND’s website: Verblijfsvergunning slachtoffer eergerelateerd of huiselijk geweld | IND. The position of minor refugees who travel with their parents as well as unsupervised and unaccompanied minor refugees is even more vulnerable.

Signs:

• The perpetrator threatens that the victim will lose their residence status if the violence is disclosed;
• The assistance of a sworn interpreter is refused, despite the fact that a family member does not speak or understand Dutch (family member acts as an interpreter).

Recommendations:

• Provide information on the possibilities that exist for assistance and shelter in cases of domestic violence.

Closed communities

Information:

Closed communities may be of religious, spiritual, therapeutic, social or ideological nature. There is often strong peer pressure, with little room for autonomy and an “us-versus-them” mentality. The pressure to conform to strict norms and rules may be intense, making victims of domestic violence and child abuse less likely to seek help, or making them feel uneasy about sharing information about their situation. The group needs to be protected, and it’s difficult for victims to break this loyalty to the group. Information is usually controlled; critical sources or outsiders are kept at bay or portrayed as dangerous. For professionals, this means that signs are sometimes hard to detect. There is an increased risk of dependency, isolation and domestic violence.

Signs:

• Someone states they are part of a group that requires a lot of time and energy;
• Interaction with family, friends or outsiders is limited or discouraged;
• There is a strict hierarchy or (a) very influential central leader(s);
• Use of specific language, rituals or rules that differ from the outside world;
• Existing social contacts are suddenly broken off, or the person stops going to school/work;

Recommendations:

• Keeping in contact is a priority; having a connection is worth a lot;
• Ask about possibilities to keep in touch and take note of preferences;
• Approach without judgment and use neutral language (avoid terms like sect);
• Carefully identify where the person is staying, the circumstances of interaction (is the person able to freely contact you) and if there are institutions involved already;
• Empathize with the person’s world view. The person will often seem confused; try to understand what goes on behind the confused behavior;
• Make it clear that no action will be taken without careful consultation with the person involved; the members of the closed community will not be contacted without having consulted the victim;
• Explain to the people involved that the protection of the victim(s) is the main priority;
• Take into account any dependency relationships that may exist. For minors: identify which family members are inside the group and which are not, if there is any interaction with the family outside of the community, and if there are alternative caregivers;
• Keep conversations confidential and tell the victim this explicitly, but do not promise secrecy;
• In case of extreme convictions (such as right-wing extremist, religious extremism): start the conversation without judging. Identify if the person themselves, their environment or society is in danger. Determine if the conviction can exist without depending on the community, and how much support it has in society.

Sexual violence

Information:

Sexual violence means that someone is forced to do, undergo or watch sexual acts without clear and voluntary consent. It often occurs in situations with a power imbalance, such as within families, relationships or relationships of dependency. Sexual violence often remains hidden for a long time, and victims usually do not show (specific) signs.

Consent means that someone voluntarily, consciously and clearly agrees with sexual acts. In case of minors, people with disabilities or in authority relationships (for example in health care, education or religion) consent is extra vulnerable.

Examples of hands-on sexual violence (with physical contact):

• Unwanted kissing or touching;
• Unwanted manual or oral sex;
• Unwanted vaginal or anal penetration;
• Unwanted penetration with objects;
• Stealthing: secretly removing a condom during sex while no permission was given to do so.

Examples of hands-off sexual violence (without physical contact):

• Unwanted sexting or distribution of nude images;
• (Having to) watch porn or sexual acts;
• Unwanted or forced masturbation;
• Grooming (digital child molestation) or sextortion (online blackmail with sexual images);
• Unwanted or forced body exposure;

Signs:

There are no fixed behavioral traits that clearly indicate sexual violence. Signs very much differ from one person to another. Many of the victims show very little signs or no signs at all, for example because of embarrassment, guilt, fear or loyalty to the perpetrator. Pay close attention to abnormal behavior. What is normal behavior, for example for a three-year-old, and what isn’t? Or: does someone show changes in behavior?

A sign that always indicates sexual violence:

• an STD or pregnancy in a child under 12.

Recommendations after disclosure:

• React in a quiet, supporting manner, without judging;
• Tell the victim explicitly that it is not their fault;
• Normalize emotions: everything a person feels is understandable;
• Ask the person involved what is most important to them at that time;
• Explore together which help would be most adequate (medical, psychological, legal);
• Leave the clothing and the place where it happened untouched wherever possible;
• Be cautious with physical contact; ask if touch is appreciated;
• Offer to help thinking about subsequent steps or enlisting help;
• In case of children:
  • After the conversation, help the child to come back to the here and now, in order to leave it in a safe place;
  • Inform the child about the subsequent steps, what they can expect from the professional, and who they can contact in the meantime;
  • Check if there is formal and informal support in the child’s network.

Stalking

Information:

Stalking is unpleasantly following or bothering someone. Stalking is a punishable offense. Take the victims’ feelings seriously. If they really are afraid, there is a large risk of danger/threat. Early intervention may prevent escalation. Pay close attention to changes in the behavior of the perpetrator (escalation of behavior) and victim (fear, hyper-alertness, isolation, trouble sleeping). Victims of stalking have a right to protection. For example, an area ban or restraining order may be imposed.

Signs that indicate acute danger in cases of stalking:

• The stalker has access to weapons;
• The stalker has violated a restraining order before;
• The stalker has prior convictions for criminal behavior;
• The stalker has psychiatric problems;
• The stalker seems desperate or obsessive (for example, after ending a relationship or another life event) and does not see another option than to use violence;
• The stalker has suicidal thoughts, mentions them or has already made an attempt;
• The stalker contemplates murder;
• Escalation of the behavior of the stalker; the stalker becomes more insistent or more aggressive, threat of violence or actual violence, the frequency of contact moments increases;
• Anxiety and stress of the victim; the victim fears what the stalker may do, has trouble sleeping, panic attacks, continuously feels unsafe.

Recommendations:

• Take signs of stalking seriously;
• Get in touch with the Advisory and Reporting Office Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, and the police;
• It is important to gather evidence.

Digital and online violence

Information:

Forms of digital violence increasingly form part of domestic violence. Forms of online violence include; online harassment, listening in on conversations, digital stalking, shame sexting, grooming, sextortion, revenge porn, financial abuse and identity fraud. In cases of shame sexting or revenge porn, cultural context may have extra impact on the victim.

Signs:

• Victims tend to experience feelings of embarrassment, due to which they may choose not to report an incident;
• They may fear the reaction of their peers, be affected by mental issues (such as depression) and experience increased levels of stress;
• Victims withdraw from and avoid social interaction and activities;
• The victim is absent from work or school.

Recommendations:

• Ask explicitly about unpleasant experiences online;
• Help out with the practicalities: removing content, changing account passwords and privacy settings on social media, gathering evidence, pressing charges;
• If needed, get in touch with the Advisory and Reporting Office Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, or check: Welkom bij safetyNed – alles over #veiligonline

Substance abuse

Information:

Substance abuse is a risk factor for domestic violence and neglect. Furthermore, alcohol and certain drugs may intensify the aggressive behavior of a person. Substances reduce impulse control, which increases the chances of violence towards the partner and/or children. Substance abuse may occur with both perpetrator and victim. Addiction has a lot of impact on children. It is associated with an unsafe parenting situation, unpredictability, parentification, anxiety and behavioral issues. Substance abuse during pregnancy is damaging to the unborn child and is a form of child abuse. Treatment of the addiction reduces the risk of repeated incidence of domestic violence.

Signs:

• The user states they use substances as a means of coping with the problems at home;
• The perpetrator states that the victim ‘deserved’ the violence because of using or their behavior during using;
• The victim is forced to use substances;
• The perpetrator threatens they will restrict access to substances, as part of the violence;
• There are financial problems and debts due to substance abuse;
• Money belonging to the partner or children is used to purchase substances;
• Neglect of responsibilities; lack of attention for children (dirty clothes, bad hygiene, hunger), household or partner, and little emotional availability;
• Children feel responsible for taking care of, for example, their younger siblings.

Recommendations:

• Ask questions about alcohol consumption or drug use: which substance, when and how often;
• Integrate addiction treatment into the approach: involve addiction care early in the process.

Mental health issues

Information:

Psychiatric and psychological issues affect relationships and parenthood. Children of parents with psychiatric and psychological issues may assume tasks and responsibilities that are not appropriate and adequate to the age of the child. Adults who faced domestic violence and/or child abuse in their childhood, are at great risk of becoming a victim again, or of becoming a perpetrator themselves of domestic violence and/or child abuse. Childhood traumas may lead to mental health issues in adulthood. Adults and children with a mental disorder are extra vulnerable to becoming a victim of violence. Be aware of stigma and taboo: mental health issues and domestic violence are both emotionally charged topics. Victims and perpetrators may feel ashamed or afraid of being condemned.

Signs:

• Mental health issues usually do not occur in isolation, but are often combined with other problems such as addiction in relation to domestic violence.
• Mental disorders cause unpredictable behavior which may lead to unsafe situations; fits of rage, aggression, mood swings, paranoid behavior, distrust and psychoses
• Mental disorders of a parent may lead to unsafe attachment of children
• Depressive symptoms may lead to neglect of the person themselves and family members; insufficient nutrition, clothing and medical care

Recommendations:

• Understanding the background and issues may help building up trust.

Adolescents with mild intellectual disability

Information:

When someone has an IQ between 50-85 and is not doing well socially, we speak of mild intellectual disability. Approximately one in every 6 Dutch citizens has an IQ of 50-85. Adolescents with mild intellectual disability are at a greater risk to become both victim and perpetrator of violence. People with mild intellectual disability are more vulnerable to becoming victims of human trafficking. They are less capable of assessing cause-and-effect relations, are easier to influence and are more gullible. Human traffickers consciously abuse these vulnerabilities and at times, they recruit at locations where people with mild intellectual disability are staying. People with mild intellectual disability are victim of sexual exploitation 18 times more than others. For more information on mild intellectual disability, see Signs chart Mild Intellectual Disability – Landelijk Kenniscentrum LVB

Signs of (ex) partner violence in cases of mild intellectual disability:

• Unable to set boundaries for the partner;
• Having to be available at all times (experiencing control as “love");
• Unhealthy relationship dynamics (jealousy, control, dependency) are not recognized as damaging;
• Tolerating damaging behavior, because of strong feelings of infatuation or dependency.

Signs of sexual or criminal exploitation in case of mild intellectual disability:

• Possesses a second phone;
• Has many new contacts;
• Possesses luxury items, expensive clothes and/or a lot of cash money;
• Spends more money than one would expect based on their (part time) job;
• Interacts with people who show criminal behavior.

Recommendations:

• Use simple language and verify if the person understood you;
• If needed, make use of images.

Brain disease or memory problems

Information:

Brain diseases include acquired brain injury or dementia. Dementia is a collective name for diseases that affect the brain such as Alzheimer’s. Acquired brain injury is damage to the brain that arose after birth. This may be caused by an accident, brain tumor or cardiac arrest. Approximately 300,000 people in the European part of the Netherlands have dementia, and this is a growing number. There are no specific numbers available for the Caribbean Netherlands. However, the Advisory and Reporting Offices are aware of several cases of dementia in combination with domestic violence. Each year, approximately 140,000 people suffer a brain injury. A brain injury is life-changing, both for the patient and the people involved. It may cause a lot of stress and care pressure, and may therefore affect the system, which means there is a higher chance of dysfunctional informal care or elder abuse. For signs of dysfunctional informal care or elder abuse: consult the corresponding signs chart

Signs of brain disease or memory problems:

• Memory issues;
• Difficulty with daily activities;
• Getting time and place wrong;
• Language issues;
• Losing objects;
• Poor judgment;
• Withdrawal from social interaction;
• Changes in behavior and character.

Recommendations:

• Observe carefully; check for patterns and repetition;
• Speak to the person and the informal caregiver separately;
• Ask open questions; ask about feelings of safety and daily routines;
• Check medical reports but stay alert to any abnormal signs;
• Do not suppose that illness is the only explanation for behavior or injury;
• Avoid confronting accusations; these may make the situation worse.

LHBTIQA+

Information:

Lesbian women, homosexual men, bi+ persons and transgender persons are faced with domestic violence more frequently than cishetero people are. As regards transgender persons, perpetrators are usually (step)parents or (step)brothers/sisters (46%) or the (ex) partner (25%). Within families, the LHBTIQA+ identity may not be (fully) accepted. Transition of transgender youth may be hindered by parents. LHBTIQA+ are often affected by minority stress; the fear to be faced with exclusion and discrimination. This hinders them when being open during their contact with professional assistance, and it also prevents professionals from gaining a proper sight of what is actually going on. Not all transgender and non-binary people feel at ease in a men’s or women’s shelter. It is important to show an open and accepting attitude. If professional assistance shows it is inclusive, then LHBTIQA+ people feel safer when asking for help and support.

Signs of minority stress:

• LHBTIQA+ persons are discussed negatively;
• The partner is mentioned in general terms; the partner's gender remains hidden;
• There are no visible features that may indicate an LHBTIQA+ identity;
• Violence is hidden or downplayed so as to not damage the image of the LHBTIQA+ community.

Recommendations:

• Be aware of possible minority stress;
• Show that you have a positive attitude towards LHBTIQA+ people;
• Refrain from asking unnecessarily curious questions.

Complicated divorce

Information:

It is estimated that in 15 – 20% of divorces in which children are involved, the procedure is highly difficult. In approximately 50% of these complicated divorces, there is also domestic violence. Mediation only works if both partners are willing to cooperate and to find a solution together. In cases of intimate terror, mediation may be used by the perpetrator to maintain control and coercion. Mediation is ineffective in cases of intimate terror.

Signs:

• There are severe fights and accusations between the divorcing partners;
• Legal proceedings are ongoing for years;
• One parent undermines the other parent: - Trips are not approved. - Doctor’s visits are not approved. - Agreements are not met unilaterally
• One parent speaks ill of the other parent to the children;
• Children experience conflicts of loyalty;
• The children are used to exercise power over the other parent.

Recommendations:

• Gain a complete impression of what is going on: who-does-what-when-with which impact;
• Verify if the child witnesses or has witnessed violence;
• Talk to (all) children present;
• Consider (a history of) partner violence during the relationship.

Animals

Information:

The perpetrator may use the animal as a weapon against the victim, for example by giving a dog the command to bite. Animals may be used as leverage to threaten, manipulate, control, humiliate, cause fear or to force a person to stay in the relationship. The perpetrator may threaten to use violence against the animal. Victims may postpone fleeing to a women’s shelter, for fear of leaving their pet behind. Fortunately, there are some shelters that welcome pets.

Signs of the animal:

• Has injuries that were inflicted (by humans);
• Has prior or repeated fractures/injuries;
• Has inexplicable injuries;
• Fears the owner;
• Is withdrawn towards people;
• Behaves in a subdued manner or is overly aggressive;
• Has a dull, depressed demeanor;
• Behaves differently than before;
• Does not have enough freedom of movement;
• Lives in unhygienic circumstances;
• Does not have its own place to lie down or to sleep;
• Does not have access to sufficient food/water;

Signs of the owner:

• Is reluctant to give an explanation for the injuries sustained by the animal;
• Gives implausible or unlikely explanations for the injuries sustained by the animal;
• The explanations given (at different times) for the same injuries vary;
• Reacts inappropriately, angrily or aggressively to questions or notifications;
• Shows deviant behavior: is anxious, nervous, aggressive or uncomfortable;
• Is reluctant to seek help;
• Does not seem to be concerned about the animal;
• Does not treat the animal correctly: harsh, hasty, rough, loud, loud voice;
• Does not give the animal proper care;
• Does not meet the basic needs of the animal;
• Has been seen before with injured animals.

Recommendations:

• Ask if there are pets in the household;
• Discuss the shelter options for pets.

Victims who are men/boys

Information:

Each year, 80,000 men fall victim to serious violence in their domestic environment in the European Part of the Netherlands. There are no exact figures available for the Caribbean Netherlands.

Male victims of domestic violence experience a tremendous taboo as well as disbelief from those around them. They frequently feel they are the only ones going through this, which makes them feel ashamed. Only 3% of male victims report to police. Men or boys usually have a different way of expressing problems and seeking help. Men tend to want to solve the problem themselves. Embarrassment also tends to play a larger role. Also in the healthcare and welfare systems, there is (unconscious) prejudice about violence against men and boys. In the European Netherlands, there are shelters for men who face domestic violence. For more information, please consult www.mannenmishandeling.nl. In the Caribbean Netherlands, there are shelter options for male victims. To learn more, contact the Advisory and Reporting Office on your island.

Signs:

• Physical signs: bruises, cuts, bite wounds, contusions, fractures mainly of the nose, long bones and ribs, burns and injury to the skull;
• Psychosomatic signs: feeling depressed, tremors, frequent headaches or stomach aches, anxiety, lack of sleep, heart palpitations and fatigue;
• Behavioral signs: avoids eye contact, often postpones appointments, submissive attitude, unclear requests for assistance and jumpiness;
• Male victims visit their family doctor more often than average and use sleep medication and pain medication more frequently;
• Speaks of “problems in the relationship” or “things are not going well at home”, downplays the situation;
• Is strongly focused on finding alternative accommodation or practical solutions during divorce;
• Describes the problems at home from a spectator point of view, or focuses mainly on facts and circumstances;

Recommendations:

• Be aware of the fact that men may also be the victim;
• Take signs seriously.

Migration background

Information:

Some migrants depend on their relationship for their residence status, which increases the risk of domestic violence. Uncertainty regarding the residence status or an undocumented residence status are risk factors for domestic violence. Migrants tend to be less knowledgeable regarding the healthcare and welfare system in the Caribbean Netherlands, which means it is more difficult for them to reach assistance. Traditional gender notions may play a part in the fact that the violence remains hidden. In some cases, fleeing domestic violence is a reason to issue a residence status or a temporary permit. You’ll find more information on this topic on the IND’s website: Verblijfsvergunning slachtoffer eergerelateerd of huiselijk geweld | IND. The position of minor refugees who travel with their parents as well as unsupervised and unaccompanied minor refugees is even more vulnerable.

Signs:

• The perpetrator threatens that the victim will lose their residence status if the violence is disclosed;
• The assistance of a sworn interpreter is refused, despite the fact that a family member does not speak or understand Dutch (family member acts as an interpreter).

Recommendations:

• Provide information on the possibilities that exist for assistance and shelter in cases of domestic violence.

Closed communities

Information:

Closed communities may be of religious, spiritual, therapeutic, social or ideological nature. There is often strong peer pressure, with little room for autonomy and an “us-versus-them” mentality. The pressure to conform to strict norms and rules may be intense, making victims of domestic violence and child abuse less likely to seek help, or making them feel uneasy about sharing information about their situation. The group needs to be protected, and it’s difficult for victims to break this loyalty to the group. Information is usually controlled; critical sources or outsiders are kept at bay or portrayed as dangerous. For professionals, this means that signs are sometimes hard to detect. There is an increased risk of dependency, isolation and domestic violence.

Signs:

• Someone states they are part of a group that requires a lot of time and energy;
• Interaction with family, friends or outsiders is limited or discouraged;
• There is a strict hierarchy or (a) very influential central leader(s);
• Use of specific language, rituals or rules that differ from the outside world;
• Existing social contacts are suddenly broken off, or the person stops going to school/work;

Recommendations:

• Keeping in contact is a priority; having a connection is worth a lot;
• Ask about possibilities to keep in touch and take note of preferences;
• Approach without judgment and use neutral language (avoid terms like sect);
• Carefully identify where the person is staying, the circumstances of interaction (is the person able to freely contact you) and if there are institutions involved already;
• Empathize with the person’s world view. The person will often seem confused; try to understand what goes on behind the confused behavior;
• Make it clear that no action will be taken without careful consultation with the person involved; the members of the closed community will not be contacted without having consulted the victim;
• Explain to the people involved that the protection of the victim(s) is the main priority;
• Take into account any dependency relationships that may exist. For minors: identify which family members are inside the group and which are not, if there is any interaction with the family outside of the community, and if there are alternative caregivers;
• Keep conversations confidential and tell the victim this explicitly, but do not promise secrecy;
• In case of extreme convictions (such as right-wing extremist, religious extremism): start the conversation without judging. Identify if the person themselves, their environment or society is in danger. Determine if the conviction can exist without depending on the community, and how much support it has in society.

Sexual violence

Information:

Sexual violence means that someone is forced to do, undergo or watch sexual acts without clear and voluntary consent. It often occurs in situations with a power imbalance, such as within families, relationships or relationships of dependency. Sexual violence often remains hidden for a long time, and victims usually do not show (specific) signs.

Consent means that someone voluntarily, consciously and clearly agrees with sexual acts. In case of minors, people with disabilities or in authority relationships (for example in health care, education or religion) consent is extra vulnerable.

Examples of hands-on sexual violence (with physical contact):

• Unwanted kissing or touching;
• Unwanted manual or oral sex;
• Unwanted vaginal or anal penetration;
• Unwanted penetration with objects;
• Stealthing: secretly removing a condom during sex while no permission was given to do so.

Examples of hands-off sexual violence (without physical contact):

• Unwanted sexting or distribution of nude images;
• (Having to) watch porn or sexual acts;
• Unwanted or forced masturbation;
• Grooming (digital child molestation) or sextortion (online blackmail with sexual images);
• Unwanted or forced body exposure;

Signs:

There are no fixed behavioral traits that clearly indicate sexual violence. Signs very much differ from one person to another. Many of the victims show very little signs or no signs at all, for example because of embarrassment, guilt, fear or loyalty to the perpetrator. Pay close attention to abnormal behavior. What is normal behavior, for example for a three-year-old, and what isn’t? Or: does someone show changes in behavior?

A sign that always indicates sexual violence:

• an STD or pregnancy in a child under 12.

Recommendations after disclosure:

• React in a quiet, supporting manner, without judging;
• Tell the victim explicitly that it is not their fault;
• Normalize emotions: everything a person feels is understandable;
• Ask the person involved what is most important to them at that time;
• Explore together which help would be most adequate (medical, psychological, legal);
• Leave the clothing and the place where it happened untouched wherever possible;
• Be cautious with physical contact; ask if touch is appreciated;
• Offer to help thinking about subsequent steps or enlisting help;
• In case of children:
  • After the conversation, help the child to come back to the here and now, in order to leave it in a safe place;
  • Inform the child about the subsequent steps, what they can expect from the professional, and who they can contact in the meantime;
  • Check if there is formal and informal support in the child’s network.

Stalking

Information:

Stalking is unpleasantly following or bothering someone. Stalking is a punishable offense. Take the victims’ feelings seriously. If they really are afraid, there is a large risk of danger/threat. Early intervention may prevent escalation. Pay close attention to changes in the behavior of the perpetrator (escalation of behavior) and victim (fear, hyper-alertness, isolation, trouble sleeping). Victims of stalking have a right to protection. For example, an area ban or restraining order may be imposed.

Signs that indicate acute danger in cases of stalking:

• The stalker has access to weapons;
• The stalker has violated a restraining order before;
• The stalker has prior convictions for criminal behavior;
• The stalker has psychiatric problems;
• The stalker seems desperate or obsessive (for example, after ending a relationship or another life event) and does not see another option than to use violence;
• The stalker has suicidal thoughts, mentions them or has already made an attempt;
• The stalker contemplates murder;
• Escalation of the behavior of the stalker; the stalker becomes more insistent or more aggressive, threat of violence or actual violence, the frequency of contact moments increases;
• Anxiety and stress of the victim; the victim fears what the stalker may do, has trouble sleeping, panic attacks, continuously feels unsafe.

Recommendations:

• Take signs of stalking seriously;
• Get in touch with the Advisory and Reporting Office Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, and the police;
• It is important to gather evidence.

Digital and online violence

Information:

Forms of digital violence increasingly form part of domestic violence. Forms of online violence include; online harassment, listening in on conversations, digital stalking, shame sexting, grooming, sextortion, revenge porn, financial abuse and identity fraud. In cases of shame sexting or revenge porn, cultural context may have extra impact on the victim.

Signs:

• Victims tend to experience feelings of embarrassment, due to which they may choose not to report an incident;
• They may fear the reaction of their peers, be affected by mental issues (such as depression) and experience increased levels of stress;
• Victims withdraw from and avoid social interaction and activities;
• The victim is absent from work or school.

Recommendations:

• Ask explicitly about unpleasant experiences online;
• Help out with the practicalities: removing content, changing account passwords and privacy settings on social media, gathering evidence, pressing charges;
• If needed, get in touch with the Advisory and Reporting Office Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, or check: Welkom bij safetyNed – alles over #veiligonline

Substance abuse

Information:

Substance abuse is a risk factor for domestic violence and neglect. Furthermore, alcohol and certain drugs may intensify the aggressive behavior of a person. Substances reduce impulse control, which increases the chances of violence towards the partner and/or children. Substance abuse may occur with both perpetrator and victim. Addiction has a lot of impact on children. It is associated with an unsafe parenting situation, unpredictability, parentification, anxiety and behavioral issues. Substance abuse during pregnancy is damaging to the unborn child and is a form of child abuse. Treatment of the addiction reduces the risk of repeated incidence of domestic violence.

Signs:

• The user states they use substances as a means of coping with the problems at home;
• The perpetrator states that the victim ‘deserved’ the violence because of using or their behavior during using;
• The victim is forced to use substances;
• The perpetrator threatens they will restrict access to substances, as part of the violence;
• There are financial problems and debts due to substance abuse;
• Money belonging to the partner or children is used to purchase substances;
• Neglect of responsibilities; lack of attention for children (dirty clothes, bad hygiene, hunger), household or partner, and little emotional availability;
• Children feel responsible for taking care of, for example, their younger siblings.

Recommendations:

• Ask questions about alcohol consumption or drug use: which substance, when and how often;
• Integrate addiction treatment into the approach: involve addiction care early in the process.

Mental health issues

Information:

Psychiatric and psychological issues affect relationships and parenthood. Children of parents with psychiatric and psychological issues may assume tasks and responsibilities that are not appropriate and adequate to the age of the child. Adults who faced domestic violence and/or child abuse in their childhood, are at great risk of becoming a victim again, or of becoming a perpetrator themselves of domestic violence and/or child abuse. Childhood traumas may lead to mental health issues in adulthood. Adults and children with a mental disorder are extra vulnerable to becoming a victim of violence. Be aware of stigma and taboo: mental health issues and domestic violence are both emotionally charged topics. Victims and perpetrators may feel ashamed or afraid of being condemned.

Signs:

• Mental health issues usually do not occur in isolation, but are often combined with other problems such as addiction in relation to domestic violence.
• Mental disorders cause unpredictable behavior which may lead to unsafe situations; fits of rage, aggression, mood swings, paranoid behavior, distrust and psychoses
• Mental disorders of a parent may lead to unsafe attachment of children
• Depressive symptoms may lead to neglect of the person themselves and family members; insufficient nutrition, clothing and medical care

Recommendations:

• Understanding the background and issues may help building up trust.

Adolescents with mild intellectual disability

Information:

When someone has an IQ between 50-85 and is not doing well socially, we speak of mild intellectual disability. Approximately one in every 6 Dutch citizens has an IQ of 50-85. Adolescents with mild intellectual disability are at a greater risk to become both victim and perpetrator of violence. People with mild intellectual disability are more vulnerable to becoming victims of human trafficking. They are less capable of assessing cause-and-effect relations, are easier to influence and are more gullible. Human traffickers consciously abuse these vulnerabilities and at times, they recruit at locations where people with mild intellectual disability are staying. People with mild intellectual disability are victim of sexual exploitation 18 times more than others. For more information on mild intellectual disability, see Signs chart Mild Intellectual Disability – Landelijk Kenniscentrum LVB

Signs of (ex) partner violence in cases of mild intellectual disability:

• Unable to set boundaries for the partner;
• Having to be available at all times (experiencing control as “love");
• Unhealthy relationship dynamics (jealousy, control, dependency) are not recognized as damaging;
• Tolerating damaging behavior, because of strong feelings of infatuation or dependency.

Signs of sexual or criminal exploitation in case of mild intellectual disability:

• Possesses a second phone;
• Has many new contacts;
• Possesses luxury items, expensive clothes and/or a lot of cash money;
• Spends more money than one would expect based on their (part time) job;
• Interacts with people who show criminal behavior.

Recommendations:

• Use simple language and verify if the person understood you;
• If needed, make use of images.

Brain disease or memory problems

Information:

Brain diseases include acquired brain injury or dementia. Dementia is a collective name for diseases that affect the brain such as Alzheimer’s. Acquired brain injury is damage to the brain that arose after birth. This may be caused by an accident, brain tumor or cardiac arrest. Approximately 300,000 people in the European part of the Netherlands have dementia, and this is a growing number. There are no specific numbers available for the Caribbean Netherlands. However, the Advisory and Reporting Offices are aware of several cases of dementia in combination with domestic violence. Each year, approximately 140,000 people suffer a brain injury. A brain injury is life-changing, both for the patient and the people involved. It may cause a lot of stress and care pressure, and may therefore affect the system, which means there is a higher chance of dysfunctional informal care or elder abuse. For signs of dysfunctional informal care or elder abuse: consult the corresponding signs chart

Signs of brain disease or memory problems:

• Memory issues;
• Difficulty with daily activities;
• Getting time and place wrong;
• Language issues;
• Losing objects;
• Poor judgment;
• Withdrawal from social interaction;
• Changes in behavior and character.

Recommendations:

• Observe carefully; check for patterns and repetition;
• Speak to the person and the informal caregiver separately;
• Ask open questions; ask about feelings of safety and daily routines;
• Check medical reports but stay alert to any abnormal signs;
• Do not suppose that illness is the only explanation for behavior or injury;
• Avoid confronting accusations; these may make the situation worse.

LHBTIQA+

Information:

Lesbian women, homosexual men, bi+ persons and transgender persons are faced with domestic violence more frequently than cishetero people are. As regards transgender persons, perpetrators are usually (step)parents or (step)brothers/sisters (46%) or the (ex) partner (25%). Within families, the LHBTIQA+ identity may not be (fully) accepted. Transition of transgender youth may be hindered by parents. LHBTIQA+ are often affected by minority stress; the fear to be faced with exclusion and discrimination. This hinders them when being open during their contact with professional assistance, and it also prevents professionals from gaining a proper sight of what is actually going on. Not all transgender and non-binary people feel at ease in a men’s or women’s shelter. It is important to show an open and accepting attitude. If professional assistance shows it is inclusive, then LHBTIQA+ people feel safer when asking for help and support.

Signs of minority stress:

• LHBTIQA+ persons are discussed negatively;
• The partner is mentioned in general terms; the partner's gender remains hidden;
• There are no visible features that may indicate an LHBTIQA+ identity;
• Violence is hidden or downplayed so as to not damage the image of the LHBTIQA+ community.

Recommendations:

• Be aware of possible minority stress;
• Show that you have a positive attitude towards LHBTIQA+ people;
• Refrain from asking unnecessarily curious questions.

Complicated divorce

Information:

It is estimated that in 15 – 20% of divorces in which children are involved, the procedure is highly difficult. In approximately 50% of these complicated divorces, there is also domestic violence. Mediation only works if both partners are willing to cooperate and to find a solution together. In cases of intimate terror, mediation may be used by the perpetrator to maintain control and coercion. Mediation is ineffective in cases of intimate terror.

Signs:

• There are severe fights and accusations between the divorcing partners;
• Legal proceedings are ongoing for years;
• One parent undermines the other parent: - Trips are not approved. - Doctor’s visits are not approved. - Agreements are not met unilaterally
• One parent speaks ill of the other parent to the children;
• Children experience conflicts of loyalty;
• The children are used to exercise power over the other parent.

Recommendations:

• Gain a complete impression of what is going on: who-does-what-when-with which impact;
• Verify if the child witnesses or has witnessed violence;
• Talk to (all) children present;
• Consider (a history of) partner violence during the relationship.

Animals

Information:

The perpetrator may use the animal as a weapon against the victim, for example by giving a dog the command to bite. Animals may be used as leverage to threaten, manipulate, control, humiliate, cause fear or to force a person to stay in the relationship. The perpetrator may threaten to use violence against the animal. Victims may postpone fleeing to a women’s shelter, for fear of leaving their pet behind. Fortunately, there are some shelters that welcome pets.

Signs of the animal:

• Has injuries that were inflicted (by humans);
• Has prior or repeated fractures/injuries;
• Has inexplicable injuries;
• Fears the owner;
• Is withdrawn towards people;
• Behaves in a subdued manner or is overly aggressive;
• Has a dull, depressed demeanor;
• Behaves differently than before;
• Does not have enough freedom of movement;
• Lives in unhygienic circumstances;
• Does not have its own place to lie down or to sleep;
• Does not have access to sufficient food/water;

Signs of the owner:

• Is reluctant to give an explanation for the injuries sustained by the animal;
• Gives implausible or unlikely explanations for the injuries sustained by the animal;
• The explanations given (at different times) for the same injuries vary;
• Reacts inappropriately, angrily or aggressively to questions or notifications;
• Shows deviant behavior: is anxious, nervous, aggressive or uncomfortable;
• Is reluctant to seek help;
• Does not seem to be concerned about the animal;
• Does not treat the animal correctly: harsh, hasty, rough, loud, loud voice;
• Does not give the animal proper care;
• Does not meet the basic needs of the animal;
• Has been seen before with injured animals.

Recommendations:

• Ask if there are pets in the household;
• Discuss the shelter options for pets.

Victims who are men/boys

Information:

Each year, 80,000 men fall victim to serious violence in their domestic environment in the European Part of the Netherlands. There are no exact figures available for the Caribbean Netherlands.

Male victims of domestic violence experience a tremendous taboo as well as disbelief from those around them. They frequently feel they are the only ones going through this, which makes them feel ashamed. Only 3% of male victims report to police. Men or boys usually have a different way of expressing problems and seeking help. Men tend to want to solve the problem themselves. Embarrassment also tends to play a larger role. Also in the healthcare and welfare systems, there is (unconscious) prejudice about violence against men and boys. In the European Netherlands, there are shelters for men who face domestic violence. For more information, please consult www.mannenmishandeling.nl. In the Caribbean Netherlands, there are shelter options for male victims. To learn more, contact the Advisory and Reporting Office on your island.

Signs:

• Physical signs: bruises, cuts, bite wounds, contusions, fractures mainly of the nose, long bones and ribs, burns and injury to the skull;
• Psychosomatic signs: feeling depressed, tremors, frequent headaches or stomach aches, anxiety, lack of sleep, heart palpitations and fatigue;
• Behavioral signs: avoids eye contact, often postpones appointments, submissive attitude, unclear requests for assistance and jumpiness;
• Male victims visit their family doctor more often than average and use sleep medication and pain medication more frequently;
• Speaks of “problems in the relationship” or “things are not going well at home”, downplays the situation;
• Is strongly focused on finding alternative accommodation or practical solutions during divorce;
• Describes the problems at home from a spectator point of view, or focuses mainly on facts and circumstances;

Recommendations:

• Be aware of the fact that men may also be the victim;
• Take signs seriously.

Migration background

Information:

Some migrants depend on their relationship for their residence status, which increases the risk of domestic violence. Uncertainty regarding the residence status or an undocumented residence status are risk factors for domestic violence. Migrants tend to be less knowledgeable regarding the healthcare and welfare system in the Caribbean Netherlands, which means it is more difficult for them to reach assistance. Traditional gender notions may play a part in the fact that the violence remains hidden. In some cases, fleeing domestic violence is a reason to issue a residence status or a temporary permit. You’ll find more information on this topic on the IND’s website: Verblijfsvergunning slachtoffer eergerelateerd of huiselijk geweld | IND. The position of minor refugees who travel with their parents as well as unsupervised and unaccompanied minor refugees is even more vulnerable.

Signs:

• The perpetrator threatens that the victim will lose their residence status if the violence is disclosed;
• The assistance of a sworn interpreter is refused, despite the fact that a family member does not speak or understand Dutch (family member acts as an interpreter).

Recommendations:

• Provide information on the possibilities that exist for assistance and shelter in cases of domestic violence.